march 23, 2017
two years ago today. it’s not something we’ve been shy about sharing in this space – the way the door opened and the light was perfect and all the things that had been so scary and off balance and lonely fell into place in an instant. the way a moment can literally change everything.
we’ve talked about the pain and loss, the love and joy, really just two sides of the same coin, impossible to have one without the other. we’ve laughed together and cried together, found our people, worked hard to make a safe space for our family, healed some of the broken places, traveled, eaten amazing food, adopted two terrible dogs and a couple of pretty okay cats, rearranged furniture, taken trips, celebrated birthdays and anniversaries (so many anniversaries), and settled in to a life that feels so normal sometimes it surprises me.
the days that followed the very first 23rd were a crazy mix of emotions, some good and some that i hope we never feel again. but that day? magic. (there’s a reason we write about the 23rd so often.)
for me, the day started with a nine hour car trip – driving due east and watching the sun rise on a day i didn’t even know i would remember forever.
the rest is pretty well-documented history by now (you can read about it here and here), but looking back, those nine hours in the car were exactly what i needed. time to think and sing and car-dance without anything (or anyone) else. it was just me, alone with my thoughts. i made big decisions in the car that day about how i wanted to live my life and what i needed to do to make that happen. i was feeling pretty smug when i arrived at bridget’s house, ready to share all of my big plans with two of my closest friends. and then…
it feels like yesterday and ten years ago. part of me can’t believe it’s been two years and part of me can’t believe it’s only been two years. nevertheless, i’m grateful.
i hope that when we’re 90 the 23rd will still feel as magical as it does today, and i hope i never forget dancing in that weird little beer garden or watching the sun rise over the ocean.
happy 23rd, y’all.